“So… let me get this straight. In my own house, I’m supposed to sleep on a deflated air mattress on the porch because you guys decided so in your little ‘cozy’ group chat?!”
Emilia’s words hit the air as sharp as a slap. She stood by the grill, clutching a skewer so hard her knuckles turned white. The heat from the glowing coals seared her face, but a chill was spreading down her spine.
“It’s my own brother’s house, for heaven’s sake!” Sabina, Emilia’s sister-in-law, shrieked. Her outburst sent a flock of sparrows scattering from a nearby apple tree in a panic. She calmly used a fork to snag the largest piece of juicy meat from the serving platter. “Mom and I are taking the whole month of June! My boys desperately need the fresh air and space. You and Egor can come visit in August. On the weekends. Well… if there’s any room left.”
A thick, toxic silence settled over the large wooden table on the open patio. The only sound was the heavy drone of a lone bumblebee hovering over the lavender bush.
“What do you mean, ‘taking June’?” Emilia forced herself to speak quietly, detaching herself from the situation, even though she was boiling inside.
Sabina lazily reached for a pickled cucumber, took a loud, crunchy bite, and closed her eyes in satisfaction.
“Just June. The summer month,” she said, dismissively dabbing her lipstick-stained lips with a paper napkin. “I sent the detailed living schedule to the family chat this morning. Do you seriously not check your phone?”
Egor, Emilia’s lawful husband and the brother of this «planning queen,» suddenly broke into a fake, hacking cough. He frantically pushed his salad plate aside and stared intently at his smartphone screen, masterfully pretending that he’d just received a life-or-death work notification on a Saturday.
“Sabina… I thought we agreed we’d coordinate this later,” he muttered under his breath, desperately avoiding his wife’s eyes.
“Why drag it out?!” his sister countered with genuine indignation, adjusting her oversized ring. “June is right around the corner! I need to get my vacation time approved by payroll. Mom’s spot at the health spa got canceled again, and her joints are aching. She needs the fresh air! Plus, she’s already ordered a giant above-ground pool for the kids. It’s arriving Wednesday. Egor, you’ll have just enough time to assemble it after work.”
Emilia placed the skewer on the edge of the grill with slow, almost ritualistic precision. She wiped her hands thoroughly with a towel, never taking her eyes off this «lovely family.»
They had bought this luxury dacha near the forest three years ago. Actually, no—not «they.» Emilia had bought it. For five long years, she had taken care of her paralyzed grandmother, eventually inherited her apartment, sold it, and poured every cent she had into this ideal plot of land with the two-story log cabin.
Egor hadn’t lifted a finger back then. It took months of daily pleading and screaming just to get him to tear down the old, rotting shed. Every single legal document, from the first page to the last, was in Emilia’s name only.
Last summer, this «family delegation»—her mother-in-law Seraphima, and Sabina with her kids—had already held a «test drive» of the place. They’d arrived for the weekend, inspected the property like they owned it, devoured all the early strawberries, and turned their noses up at a couple of weeds near the fence. That same trip, the nephews had shattered the glass of her brand-new, expensive greenhouse with a soccer ball.
Sabina had just waved it off lazily: “Oh, come on, kids will be kids! It’s no big deal.”
Nobody had even breathed a word about compensation or a simple apology. And now, this—a full-blown occupation schedule.
“So, you’re just flat-out taking June,” Emilia stated in an icy tone, walking toward the table.
“Exactly!” Sabina sprawled out on her plastic chair. “The boys will have a blast here. We’ll eat your organic apples and raid the berry patch. Mom can plant her seedlings and fix up the garden beds. You and my brother are stuck at the office from Monday to Friday anyway. Why should the house just sit empty? Plus, we’ll be here to keep an eye on things for free!”
Emilia shifted her cold, unblinking gaze to her husband.
“Did you know about this schedule?”
Egor shrank noticeably, looking a size smaller than usual. He began to pick at a pathetic tomato on his plate with manic focus, as if he were trying to find the meaning of life buried inside it.
“Mila… come on, we’re family, aren’t we?” he managed, forcing a miserable smile. “Why are you blowing this out of proportion? We’re all blood. Mom really does better in the country; her blood pressure doesn’t spike as much.”
“Are you fearless, or do you just have nine lives?” his wife asked, her tone deathly dry.
“What exactly is so wrong with what she said?!” Sabina stepped in, puffing out her chest to defend her brother. “We discussed everything at the family council and made a decision! Egor has every right to take his own mother out for the summer! He’s her son, isn’t he?!”
“He has every right to do that at *his* house!” Emilia’s voice rang out like metal. “He can bring his mom, the whole circus, and a band of bears! But he only brings them to *my* house if I personally invite them and open the gate myself!”
Her sister-in-law huffed indignantly and planted her hands on her hips.
“Oh, here we go again with the ‘mine vs. yours’ routine! To hear you talk, you’re the only one doing any work around here! In a marriage, everything is shared—that’s the law! Egor has been breaking his back here too, for crying out loud! He painted the fence… spent a whole weekend on it!”
Emilia let out a sharp, jagged laugh—not a hint of joy in it.
“Breaking his back? Seriously? Egor, why don’t you remind your dear sister how many times you mowed the lawn last summer? Was it two or three? And who pays the trash removal and security fees every single month?”
“I slave away at the office like a dog!” the husband suddenly snapped, his face flushing deep red. “To keep us afloat! I’m exhausted!”
“Oh, really?” Emilia leaned over the table, propping herself up on her palms. “Let’s recap who’s actually funding this luxury vacation in nature, shall we? Your paycheck goes to the utility bills for the city apartment (split), your business lunches, and gas. Oh, and let’s not forget those fancy rims for your ‘baby’—the ones you spent your entire spring bonus on! Now, who pays for the electricity out here, the brand-new autonomous septic tank that cost a fortune, and the roof repairs on the bathhouse?”
“Well, we’re a family… the budget is, like, shared…” Egor muttered, refusing to look up.
“That trick isn’t going to work,” his wife cut him off. “The septic tank and the roof were paid for, down to the last cent, from the savings account I had before we even stepped foot in the courthouse to get married. I have every single receipt saved in my banking app. You haven’t invested a single penny of your own hard-earned money into this house!”
“Oh, get over yourself!” Sabina spat, pulling a keychain from her pocket and nervously twisting it around her finger. “You’re clutching your miserable little plot of land like a dog in a manger! If you won’t use it, let others! We’re relatives! Normal people help their own!”
“Normal relatives don’t invade someone else’s home without permission,” Emilia countered with icy calm. “And they don’t draft ‘occupation schedules’ behind the owners’ backs. By the way… you already ordered the pool. Where exactly did you plan on sleeping? Eight people in two beds?”
“Well… Mom will take your bedroom; it has an orthopedic mattress, which is good for her back,” her sister-in-law stated, completely serious. “The kids will take the sofa in the living room. As for you and my brother… well, when you come in August, you can just rough it on the air mattress on the porch. It’s summer, it’s warm, the nightingales are singing—it’s pure romance!”
Emilia closed her eyes, trying to process the sheer scale of this surrealism. The audacity of this family had just hit rock bottom and plunged into outer space.
“So, let me get this straight. In my own house… I’m supposed to sleep on a rubber mattress outside because you decided so in your little group chat?!”
“BUT THIS IS MY BROTHER’S HOUSE!!!” Sabina shrieked hysterically, slamming her fist against the table with all her might. Her ring left a deep white gouge in the plastic, and a clean fork went flying into the bushes with a clang.
At that exact, dramatic second, Sabina’s phone vibrated on the table. The screen lit up: *“Mommy ❤️.”* The sister-in-law shot a triumphant glare at her sister-in-law and aggressively hit the speakerphone button.
“Sabinochka, darling, did you guys work everything out?” Seraphima’s commanding voice rang out. “I’ve already jotted down a grocery list! Tell Emilia she needs to pick up some decent pasta on the weekend (not the cheap stuff!), some grains, and about three kilos of high-quality tenderloin—we’re arriving Monday morning, after all! And tell her to scrub the fridge with baking soda! Last summer, there were sticky spots on the bottom shelf, and I found it disgusting to put my sausages there!”
Egor pulled his head into his shoulders so far he looked like a turtle retreating into its shell.
“Mom… we’re still here… just… ironing out a few details…” he wheezed into the microphone.
“What details?! Everything is decided!” the mother-in-law sounded genuinely baffled. “The pool is paid for! Just make sure you buy new pillows; those down ones make my neck ache! That’s all, kisses, I expect a full report!”
The call disconnected. A dead, ringing silence fell over the porch.
“This house and this land were purchased, from the foundation to the roof, with my inheritance money,” Emilia said, measuring every word as she loomed over the table. “And by law, it is *only* my property. Egor doesn’t even have the rights to a doghouse here! You can call ten lawyers—the law is on my side.”
Sabina’s face flushed with ugly crimson blotches. Her lips tightened into a thin, angry line. She spun around to face her brother.
“Do you hear what this hysteric is saying?! Is that how she talks to your own sister?! Egor, say something! Put this woman in her place!”
Egor pushed his plastic chair back with a loud screech. He looked like a cornered rat.
“Mila… come on, you’re really overreacting. No one is stealing your precious dacha,” he fell back into his usual script. “They’ll stay for a month, get some fresh air. Why be so stingy? It’s Mom! It’s the kids!”
“I am being stingy,” Emilia replied in a tone that could freeze water. “I’m being incredibly stingy with my nerves. I’m stingy with my garden beds, which your mother will ‘improve’ by ripping out my prized flowers! I’m stingy with my greenhouse, which your unruly nephews will smash! And most of all, I’m stingy with watching all of you parasitize my property so shamelessly!”
She swept a pile of used napkins off the table.
“The schedule is officially canceled! June, July, August, and every year thereafter—this house is occupied exclusively by ME! And I will be sleeping on my favorite orthopedic mattress! You have my permission to visit for a single day, and only when I send you an invitation. As for your pool, you can return it to the store or set it up on your own balcony!”
“Like I wanted to sit in your swamp anyway!” Sabina jumped up, nearly knocking over the salad bowl. “You won’t see me here again! Mom was right: you’re a cheapskate! You’d starve for a penny and leave your own family out in the cold!”
“Put the gate and house keys on the table,” Emilia commanded without turning around, starting to clear the dirty plates.
“In your dreams!” the sister-in-law spat.
“If they aren’t on the table right now, I’m calling a locksmith at 8:00 AM tomorrow to change every lock. And while I’m at it, I’m calling the police to report strangers trying to break into my home. Take your pick.”
Sabina threw the keys on the table with enough force that they bounced off the plastic and landed straight in the thick, thorny gooseberry bushes. The sister-in-law spun on her heel and marched toward the gate, stomping loudly on the gravel and spewing curses at “greedy wives.”
Emilia calmly stepped off the porch, parted the thorny branches, and retrieved the keys. Egor sat at the table, gripping his hair. The family weekend was buried under the wreckage of a massive scandal.
“You reap what you sow…” the man muttered, staring sadly at the cold shish kebab. “You always ruin everything, Mila! You blew a tiny fly into a nuclear war! We were all having such a nice time…”
“If you want to treat your mother to a luxury vacation, rent her a villa at a resort or pay for a suite at a spa,” his wife cut him off, heading inside with the dishes. “You’ve got a paycheck coming up soon. Be a dear and pay for your own family’s wishes out of your own pocket. I didn’t sign up to be a servant for your entitled relatives after work, and I’m not buying them tenderloin!”
She walked into the cool hallway, pulled her phone from her shorts pocket, and opened the messenger. She found the group named “Egor’s Family” (the profile picture showed Seraphima smiling warmly). The last message was a document proudly titled *“Schedule_Dacha_Final_2026.doc.”*
Without hesitation, Emilia pressed the red “Leave Group” button. Her heart instantly felt light, and breathing became incredibly easy.
No one showed up on Monday. Sabina canceled the tickets after a huge blowout. The very next day, Emilia hired a technician and completely replaced the locks on the gate and the front door.
Egor, of course, held a grudge for a long time. He slept in the city apartment with his back to her, sighed heavily, and complained to his friends about the “mercenary nature of modern women.” But the city heat became unbearable, the shish kebabs didn’t grill themselves, and nature called. Eventually, he had to accept the new, strict boundaries and return to a normal summer life without “relatives on their necks.”
Sabina declared a boycott and never called again. Rumor has it that Egor still had to shake out the remnants of his bonus to rent his mother a modest room in a budget boarding house. And that ill-fated pool remained in its box, wintering on the sister-in-law’s balcony.
Emilia watered her favorite roses with a new hose, squinting in the bright morning sun. No one sent her stupid shopping lists anymore or told her where to sleep in her own home. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your own happiness is to show people the door at the right time and change the locks. Because that is the only way to protect your peace.
